The speaker says that deep connection with a person comes from engaging with their identity and aspirations, rather than only their job, activities, or hobbies.

“I think so. Um, I, I forget, I forget, I forget the authorship relationship, but I think it's James Clear. Basically, if you want to deeply understand or connect with somebody, you have to connect with them not on the level of their job-”

“... not on the level of their activities or hobbies or whatever. It is their identity. Like, who are you?”